The big thing again.

So big machines are really extensions of the creators personality. Not always the case. Some big things have to be big to solve a big problem, like earth moving equipment. War has been, no doubt, a major driving force in giving anyone with half an idea and part of a brain, (and access to a general's ear), the support and manpower necessary to bring to reality some really dangerous machines. And I don't mean to the enemy.

I believe that many large, unsafe and continually costly machines are simply the result of too much time, a dream and bozos dumb enough to pay for it. The latter, unfortunatley, are often the taxpayers. Sorry.

I could not pass up the chance to tell you about this mighty machine: Stalin's Engine. Unlike the Czars Cannon, this monster actually worked a bit.

First a little bit of locomotive engineering for all those unfamiliar with whats good and whats bad about steam engines. We all know they are just plain cool and romatic. The whistle, the steam and the chugga chugga. They were also very powerful and fast. Trouble was as the need for power and speed increased, the only way to add more of those was to go bigger. Which meant they needed to stop more often for water. Hey, all the steam means the water's being used up. And they got heavier, a lot heavier. It's hard to build taller with tunnels and such, so you had to go longer.

Now this had its own problems. You can only go so long before they won't go around some corners. Locomotives don't bend in the middle. So too long is no good and, of course, too heavy is bad too. The rails are laid on the ground which can be shifty or affected by weather. Ooh, and oh yeah, there's the bridges to consider.

So in 1934, the clever Russians went for the gusto and built Stalin's Engine. The largest steam engines ever attempted had 12 ( 6 per side) driving wheels. They went one better, two actually, and had an unheard of 14. It could not go around anything but the mildest curves, so the builders tried to articulate some of the drive wheels. That just made the thing even more troublesome. Didn't matter. Russian rails were in various stages of repair and a hundred different sizes and load capacities. It was so heavy it regularly split the rails, broke switches and, not surprisingly, rarely stayed on the track. To make matters worse, it was too long for the turntables of the day. So if it actually stayed upright, it could only travel on looped lines so it could get back.

Wonder what the world's biggest lawnmower looks like.